Days I land here

How does this happen
There are days I land here to write
Those days my head is reeling
And I am feeling confused
Like today I am feeling light
Today is a day to tuck in bed and lie with a book
Maybe watch a movie
As my whole body is resonating
My head is resonating
With the uncertainity
The pain of existing
When will this pain stop
When will this pain go
I watch it now sometimes
I just sit and watch it
But there are days when it bursts
Like lighting in the storm
It wants to find a mark
and strike
And it does
Again and again
On myself !!!!!!!!!